VI. Unwanted child
As I head back to the secondary house, I notice that every Onorato drops their gaze and looks at the ground, giving a quick nod of respect. To an outsider, it seems like Iâm above them. But the truth is, I wasnât even recognized as one of them.
When I first arrived on this estate, I was just a fifteen-year-old girl holding her dreamy, love-struck, and hopelessly dazzled motherâs hand. Since then, Iâve been nothing more than an inconvenienceâpushed aside when the funeral ended and dumped onto the secondary family like a leftover responsibility.
Salvatore had just taken over the blood operations of the Famiglia. He didnât have time to worry about the daughter of one of his deceased fatherâs women, especially one who had arrived so recently. Still, he used to be kind, in his own way. He still is, actually. His rule isnât built on fearâthat part belongs to Cesare.
The Don is just empathetic enough. Fair, but with eyes that cut too deep, like they can strip the truth straight out of your soul without a word. He has a presence that makes a room feel smaller, more intimate, even when itâs filled with armed men. He doesnât demand respect; he inspires it.
And in our world, thatâs infinitely more dangerous.
Back then, I didnât fully understand who was who, who gave the orders, and why. I only heard names whispered behind half-closed doors, those hushed voices thick with either reverence or fear, but I learned the difference quickly.
Salvatore made the decisions.
But Cesare carried them out.
And in the space between them, no one quite knew what to do with me.
So, I was handed off to Zio Arturo, the younger brother of the man who was supposed to become my stepfather, and to his wife, Zia Nora. But I never once felt like part of a family.
Not in any sense of the word.
I was banned from entering the main house and from seeing or speaking to the heirs. My very existence here felt like a rumor, something few had seen firsthand, just whispered about but never confirmed.
Until that day, two years ago.
Until I saw the bloodâ
âMarina.â The unmistakable voice of Damiano pulls me from dangerous memories that twist my stomach.
I turn toward him, noticing heâs already close enough that I can see the small dimples in his easy smile, and how his lean but toned muscles stretch beneath his shirt.
Two more steps, and heâs right in front of me, reaching out with a hand, his fingers brushing gently against my cheek. A light touch, almost reverentâone that could carry tenderness, if it werenât for the way he looks at me. Darkly. Clouded.
âWhat are you doing out here?â he asks, soft and velvety, but roughened with something Iâve never dared look at too closely. âYou know youâre supposed to stay inside your room. You canât worry me like this.â
I slide away with a grace honed by years of practice, flashing him a charming smile that eases the tension on his face.
âYou worry too much, Damio,â I say, keeping my tone light, as if there arenât any hidden barbs in those words. âI just went for a walk⊠it gets stifling inside those walls sometimes.â
Damianoâs eyes darken slightly. I know he hates it when I give vague answers, but he isnât the type to raise his voice. He always stays on the edge, with sweet words and gentle gestures hiding meticulous, possessive control, all behind his protectorâs mask.
Maybe because weâre close in age, only three years apart, he was assigned to watch over me by Don Salvatore himself. And even though heâs a Romano, from the secondary family, but still a Romano, that wasnât an order he could refuse, even if, at first, he clearly resented it.
Back then, he was too young to be involved in the business or get his hands bloody, even though he was desperate to prove his worth. I think, in some way, he saw me as that opportunity. Maybe thatâs what made his attention, control, and watchfulness⊠become suffocating.
âBut itâs not safe out here,â he insists quietly, eyes scanning the area around us. âItâs full of dogs⊠vulgar ones.â
âBetter not let Matteo hear you say that. He takes pride in the title,â I shrug, trying to keep my tone playful. But my words bother him. Or maybe itâs just the way his cousinâs name rolls off my tongue that makes his eyes narrow like that.
âYou saw him?â Damiano grips my shoulder. At first glance, it might look like an innocent touch. But his fingers press down just a beat too long to seem casual. âWere you meeting with him? Is that it?â
âYouâre not my babysitter anymore, Damio. You lost that title the moment Cesare suddenly decided I was important.â
âDonât talk like that.â Damianoâs grip tightens, voice dropping several tones lower. âIâm working on that.â
âWorking on what, exactly?â I ask, even knowing how dangerous it is to provoke a Romano, no matter where they fall on the family tree.
Damiano looks at me like heâs making a decision, and Iâm not sure I want to know what he picks. His fingers relax for a moment, then press down again, this time on purpose and calculated, like he wants to remind me he still holds some power over me.
âYouâre mine, Marina. To protect. To keep safe.â His thumb traces my exposed collarbone. âIâve been taking care of you for nearly five years. Thatâs not something you just walk away from.â
âAnd youâve done a wonderful job,â I retort, sarcasm slipping into my voice, even though it comes out quieter than I intended. âJust look at me now⊠so well-behaved.â
He smiles, but itâs the kind that never touches his eyes.
ââŠBut we both follow orders. We donât give them.â I add, slipping his hand off me with a slow, soft gesture; one too delicate to be a threat, but with just enough bitter rejection for him to taste in silence. âThe orderâs been revoked. Youâre not my protector anymore.â
The silence that forms between us isnât comfortable. But Iâm used to this kind of silence that scrapes against your skin and claws at the bone. A silence full of everything that canât be said aloud, and thick with everything he shouldâve never let grow inside himself.
âFor now.â
Those two words, whispered from Damianoâs lips, hit like a punch to the chest. They steal the air, leaving behind nothing but a sudden, sickening unease.
âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â I ask, carefully, though I already know he wonât give me a real answer. At least, not one that satisfies.
Damiano tilts his head slightly, considering the question, but his gaze never wavers. It stays fixed on mineâdark, intense, like it could pierce straight through me.
âIt means everything has its time, Marina,â he says, almost a whisper, but the weight of his words doesnât match the softness of his tone. âAnd ours⊠isnât over yet.â
The possessiveness tucked into Damianoâs smile knots my stomach tighter than even Cesare could manage.
âGo back to the secondary house, cara.â He touches my face again, dragging the knuckle of his index finger along my cheekbone. âThis place isnât for you.â
I donât argue.
For the first time in years, we agree on something.
I take a step back, hold his gaze for a long moment before finally turning and walking toward the house, each step measured, each breath carefully controlled. Just like Iâve learned I must do to survive.
Because even if the main family never acknowledged meâŠ
That never kept the cruel eyes of others from noticing me in the shadows.
