Chapter 5

AVA'S POV

"Ava! Open this dumb door before I kick this dumb door down!"

Raelynn.

Why was she here? She was supposed to be working outside the city.

I huffed and threw off the covers. By the time I'd walked toward the door, she was still banging on it.

"I'm coming!" I shouted, pulling on the door and finally getting it open.

Raelynn stared at me, her mouth open. "Holy crap, Ava… you look terrible."

"Gee, thanks for pointing out the obvious," I growled, turning away from her and standing up from the couch.

She shut the door behind me, following in the back. "I've been calling you for two days. What in the world is wrong with you?"

I said nothing. I hugged my arms around myself and pulled my knees up to encircle my knees with my arms and hold them there.

"I don't want to talk about it," I snarled.

"Tell me now." She stamped her foot, arms crossed over her chest in fury.

I swallowed hard, the words bitter gall on my tongue. But I had to tell somebody.

I swallowed again. "We… We had sex."

Her jaw fell in shock. "Wait- what? You and Max?"

I swallowed, my throat closing. "And then he said it was a mistake and walked away."

Raelynn's eyes flared with fury. "That son of a bitch. How dare he treat you like that?"

"Don't," I growled. "It was my fault. I knew that this would happen. I just hope that maybe he will finally change his mind toward me." I shivered, hating the way I sounded so pathetic.

Raelynn was beside me, anger clearing to concern. "Ava, you're smarter than that."

"I know." My eyes were full but I wasn't crying. "But it still hurts."

She was leaning against me with her arm around my shoulders. "Then take a break, then. Get somewhere other than here to clear your head."

I was gazing at her. "What are you even saying?"

"Come with me," she entreated. "I'm renting my family cabin for two weeks. It's quiet, it's peaceful… and a good distance from Max Anderson."

"I don't know, Raelynn."

"Come on, Ava." She tugged at me. "You're a mess. You need this. And I promise you. Just forget about everything for a while and relax."

It was so, so tempting.

"Okay," I sighed. "Let's go."

Raelynn helped me pack my stuff and we set out immediately. The drive out to the cabin was an empty, barren one, trees whizzing by the window. Raelynn singing along to the radio, a song, with happy smiling glances up at me every so often, waiting for me to laugh.

For two weeks, I lied to myself over and over again that I was okay. But Max continued to live in my imagination, in my thoughts, rent free.

And I just can't seem to help but blame myself for being unable to move on.

Raelynn crossed her arms over her chest. "Reality check, anyway, I don't get why you're so obsessed with this boy. He's not even worth it to you."

I tried so hard to get him out of my head but that night at the hotel lived rent free in my head. The way his eyes bored into mine and the feeling of his hands on my skin.

And then, that bitter morning, as if I were not there.

I forced the hunk of spit over my protesting throat and onto the bed. "I'm going to get over it. I'm just trying to figure out how."

Candlelight spat and flickered across Raelynn's eyes like waves of fire. "You've had two weeks to think."

"And you created quite a decent distraction," I attempted a smile. "I think I'm myself now anyway."

Or at least hoped so.

Before the nausea hit.

I had been feeling irritated since I woke up and I tried so hard to stop myself from throwing up. But then, it got worse and I found myself running to the bathroom with my hands over my mouth.

"Ava?"

Raelynn followed behind me and stood at the bathroom door on the other side. "You okay?"

I knelt down on the bathroom floor, emptying my stomach into the toilet. I sat down on the floor and sighed heavily. "Maybe I ate something bad."

Raelynn was in the doorway, arms crossed over her chest. "I doubt that. We ate the same thing all through yesterday. I think it's something else."

Looking up at her, I asked. "What are you talking about?"

She knelt beside me, forehead furrowed high. "Your last period? When did you have it?"

My gut fell. I couldn't think, couldn't concentrate. Ground under my feet did not spin in shock but in waves of nausea.

"Oh dear God," I panted when realization hit me.

Raelynn, who was beside me on the floor, raised a worried eyebrow. "Don't freak out. It could be nothing."

But I knew it in my stomach. We didn't use protection that night and I didn't even think about using any pill in the midst of all my heartbreak.

Raelynn suggested we took a test and she went out to get me the home pregnancy test.

I used the test according to the instructions. My thudding heart raced so relentlessly that I could feel it pounding through every living cell in my own body as I waited for the time to pass to check the result of the test.

"Do you want me to check it for you?" Raelynn asked.

"No," I wailed. "I want to do this one by myself."

With trembling hands, I raised up the test.

Two lines, pink.

Positive.