Stacy — We went live(1)

"Stacy Kendrick, as I live and breathe. I guess that answers the did you go home last night question. I'm going to start making you pay rent," said Kenny with an easy smile. "Or I could take you out on a date and we can call it even."

"He's not down enough about the missed promotion to stop hitting on me," I whispered to Scott.

"Exactly why you're the right person to bring along," Scott whispered back. "Men forget all their woes around you."

He said this without even looking my way. I felt a blush creep up to my cheeks. Kenny had a conspiracy theory going about Scott and me having a secret relationship. Sometimes, every once in a blue moon, I couldn't help but think that Kenny made some valid points.

"I already have a friends with benefits thing going with Scott. As long as you don't mind that, we can talk," I joked, batting my eyelashes at Kenny.

Kenny took a moment to absorb this information.

"You're not getting me this time. That's not true," said Kenny, looking doubtful. "Is it?" he leaned in and asked. "No, it's not. Scott would have told me. Right? Right Scott?"

"Shut up and drink your coffee," said Scott, pushing Kenny away from me before handing him his coffee.

After some small talk, Kenny reluctantly left us to go and speak to the owner of the bakery about his latest puff piece. It was just Scott and me, looking around the place. Somewhere in the background, Kenny and the cameraman were getting ready to go live.

"Anything look good?"

"I'm going back to Chicago," I blurted out.

Saying the words was like taking a thousand tiny daggers to my heart, and this wasn't coming out the way I wanted it to, but at least the words were out there now.

"Again? You just got back a few weeks ago. It's the start of the semester, Stace. Just last night you were saying you wanted to finish school. How is that ever going to happen—"

"It's not. I'm going back home to get married," I said meekly to a frustrated Scott.

"What are you talking about?" Scott said, his voice rising in pitch. Realizing he was being loud, he lowered his voice and tried again. "You're not getting married."

He said it like it was fact. Like there was no conceivable way it could be true. I wanted to remain calm as we stood before the display case next to other customers. He had earned the truth after seven years of friendship and I wanted to give it to him. Instead the moment overwhelmed my senses.

The near dead silence in preparation for going live, the smell of freshly baked bread and sugary frosting, the slight coolness coming from the display case, the taste of bile rising up in my throat. Finally, the feeling of his hand cupped around the side of my neck.

"Stacy?" he said, sounding less certain than a moment ago.

I could hear my pulse pounding noisily in my ears. Never in the last seven years had I felt more compelled to tell him the truth about who I was than in that moment. Instead, something else tumbled out of my mouth.

"What, because no one would want to marry me? I'm hot, Scott. I have people looking at me wherever I go. Both sexes, not just men," I said, unable to make sense of what had come over me.

"I never said no one…" Scott stepped away and turned his back on me.

I missed him. He was two feet away and I missed him. I missed his eyes on me. I missed the way he smiled at me. I missed the warmth of his hand on my neck from just a moment ago. Here I was, on the verge of putting hundreds of miles between us and I couldn't even handle two feet.

Scott turned back around and walked up to me.

"I know that. Why do you think I'm always looking at you? From the moment I first laid eyes on you, I've been committing you to memory. I have never once forgotten how beautiful you are. Inside and out. You're the most inspiring photograph I've ever taken. Can he say that?"

"You can't say things like that," I snapped. "I'm your friend, Scott. Friends move away. Friends get married to other people," I said with a shrug.

Daughters of powerful men don't get a choice. I wanted so badly to tell him, but at this point I felt like it would only make things worse.

Scott nodded his head, looking like I'd just punched him in the gut.