I Will Never Have Him

Gray

It’s a new day. I start with my web design at my desk. I came into work earlier than Mark, simply because I want to avoid him in the parking lot. Being alone in the office with him is enough for me. I hear a familiar voice, but it’s more like a one-sided argument. I can’t quite hear what it could be about. I look up from my tablet and I see Mark in his navy blue three-piece Armani suit, with the phone to his ear and laptop bag in his other hand, entering his office. He doesn’t look my way or notice I am already here unless he spotted my car in the lot.

He walks over to his desk and settles down. He is in a heated argument on his phone. He looks frustrated, and then he turns around and catches my eye. He turns away quickly again. I decided to just continue with my design, so I put all of my focus on it. As much as I am curious about that phone call, I will myself not look up again.

“Good morning, I see you are busy with a design.” I look up at Sam’s bright smile.

“Hey, yes I am. I came in earlier and thought that I could catch up on some designs.” I say with a smile.

“You look beautiful as always,” he says, and I can’t help but blush.

“Thank you,” I say. I am wearing a white dress that hugs every curve of my body and is on my mid-thigh with short black heels. My hair is loose in soft curls at the ends, with my signature natural makeup and red lip.

“So I came over here to find out if you would like to go for drinks tonight with the rest of the other interns?” he asks. This time I notice he has a laptop bag with him, and the strap over his shoulder. His one hand is holding onto the strap.

“Yes sure, just send me the time and place,” I say. Just then, Mark is beside Sam. I swear he only shows up whenever Sam is with me. I am tempted to roll my eyes in front of him, but still, his presence has an effect on me, and it’s heavy. Mark’s eyes burn into me. “Get me a cup of coffee immediately,” he says, as his brows furrow and then he glares at Sam before he walks back into his office. No ‘Good morning’ or ‘Please’. I roll my eyes this time.

“I see that the boss is in a mood today,” Sam says.

“I think he is,” I say as I take my purse out of my desk drawer.

“Would you like for me to go with you?” Sam asks me as I stand up, and I feel a familiar pair of eyes burn into me and I know that Mark is watching me, so purposefully, I smooth down my dress.

“No, it’s okay. You should start with your work. You don’t want the boss to be on your case.” I say.

“I insist.” he says, as I walk to go to the coffee shop, Sam falls in step beside me “Besides, I hate web designing.” he grins. I can’t help but chuckle. I am relieved that we are away from the office. A breath of fresh air in the morning.

After we got coffee, we headed back to the office but we arrived five minutes late. Sam goes his way and I take the coffee to Mark’s office. I walk towards his desk, he is busy with documents, he looks like someone stole something from him because his mood is stone cold. His brows are even furrowed.

I place the coffee gently down “You have to be more punctual with the coffee too.”, he says. I stand up straight, he doesn’t look at me.

“There was a long line in the coffee shop,” I say softly.

“That will be all.” He says coldly. I walk towards the door, tears stinging the back of my eyes. I feel like I could cry at any moment because, to be honest, my heart is breaking a little from this kind of treatment. I guess that I am not used to this coming from him. I’ve never known him to be this way and he never used such a tone with me. Maybe I don’t know him, maybe he has changed over the years that he has been gone. “What is Sam to you?”. That stops me in my tracks. I turn around to face him and he is already looking at me, brows still furrowed.

“Is that what it’s about?” I ask, curious to know about his treatment of me.

“Answer the simple question!” he demands.

“Sam is only a friend. I have never had any boyfriends, I am just interested in one guy, but he doesn’t feel the same way about me.” I say with so much sadness that it has overcome me just saying that. But his eyes are just looking past my sadness.

“Don’t let Sam be a distraction.” he says, “Nothing is going to happen between you and any man in this company because there is a non-fraternization policy that is in place,” he says with no emotion.

“I understand and you don’t need to worry about anything, nothing will happen,” I say with a little annoyance. I turn around and walk out of his office.

I buried myself in my work the entire day. I still feel his eyes burn into me, but I don’t look his way at all. He hasn’t even talked to me the entire day. I simply skipped lunch too because I wasn’t hungry. I was just sad and annoyed. Mark wasn’t helping in any way, I just wanted to go home, curl up in my pajamas with a pint of ice cream, watch movies, and be sad because I will never have him.